There was a gathering... More or less...
A group of us went out last night. It was a friend's birthday celebration. We met at one guy's place. Packed everyone into three seperate cars (there were five of us total) and headed out.
First stop was at a dive bar to say hi to a girl, she wasn't working, so we insta-bailed. Next stop the primary bar --- A place called The Back Door.
Now for the record, I am between paydays and stuck in a cycle of poverty for another month before the shway better paying job kicks in. So that blew right off the bat. The Brother is unemployeed and not started getting his freebie cash from the government (also known as unemployment) for getting canned. But the other two had a little for the birthday boy so it wasn't a total loss.
Thing is though it wasn't about the money. We all got to see a friend that had been gone for too long but patched things up. The birthday boy wasn't feeling it and we were clueless how to pep him up. The night felt off for me.
Had fun with my friends, but it was out of rythm, a spark wasn't there.
Knowing things are off kilter but you just can't quite put your finger on it - that feeling kind of sucks. Maybe that's why nutters hand fists of cash to head shrinks --- to answer the questions we can't even see, but feel are there.
Of course that could just be bullshit.
Maybe it was just an off night.
Just got to find a way to make the nights improve.
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Its the next day, my apartment is still a mess, I have no answers yet. Not found all the questions.
If I were a synic I would think back to that crap old saying "Time heals all wounds." Guess if you give it 50 to 80 years it even includes that growth that tore out of our mothers causing them so much pain.
But that's only if I were a synic.
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Fuck it. Rant at all later.
First stop was at a dive bar to say hi to a girl, she wasn't working, so we insta-bailed. Next stop the primary bar --- A place called The Back Door.
Now for the record, I am between paydays and stuck in a cycle of poverty for another month before the shway better paying job kicks in. So that blew right off the bat. The Brother is unemployeed and not started getting his freebie cash from the government (also known as unemployment) for getting canned. But the other two had a little for the birthday boy so it wasn't a total loss.
Thing is though it wasn't about the money. We all got to see a friend that had been gone for too long but patched things up. The birthday boy wasn't feeling it and we were clueless how to pep him up. The night felt off for me.
Had fun with my friends, but it was out of rythm, a spark wasn't there.
Knowing things are off kilter but you just can't quite put your finger on it - that feeling kind of sucks. Maybe that's why nutters hand fists of cash to head shrinks --- to answer the questions we can't even see, but feel are there.
Of course that could just be bullshit.
Maybe it was just an off night.
Just got to find a way to make the nights improve.
----------------------------
Its the next day, my apartment is still a mess, I have no answers yet. Not found all the questions.
If I were a synic I would think back to that crap old saying "Time heals all wounds." Guess if you give it 50 to 80 years it even includes that growth that tore out of our mothers causing them so much pain.
But that's only if I were a synic.
-----------------------------
Fuck it. Rant at all later.
posted by Phil M. at 4:02 PM
3 Comments:
I feel that.
The cynical side.
And thanks.
I mispelled cynical --- That's shway kewl.
And Mr Simpleton again I wish you a very happy birthing day.
It doesn't hurt. Labor. It's hard work, but the pain is caused by fear.
Having a moody, sulky, sensitive little male around is the painful part.
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